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hey I’m from tennessee i don’t understand this post?
show this post to the horse you ride around on he’ll take it from there
so my english professor told us this story last year about how he met his wife and it’s completely possible that he made it up just to entertain us but he says it happened and the story is this
he’s a a cruise with his parents to australia where he’s gonna spend a year or so for some reason. can’t remember why but it was job related. his mom is worried that if he spends too long away from her without her constant advice (my mom is also like this lol) he’s going to do something impulsive and ridiculous.
so, he decides to prank her by pretending to get married to a woman he just met. because he’s obviously so impulsive and ridiculous. so he’s talking to people and stuff and he asks this woman if she’s cool with pretending to marry him to prank his parents. and she says yes. then he goes and talks to the captain and crewmembers and he’s like “i have this ridiculously funny prank where i’m going to pretend to marry this lovely woman to freak out my mom.” and they, of course, reply hell yeah. so like since the first mate has the power to marry people, i guess, he agrees to the fake wedding.
so at lunch he’s like “mom, dad, this is alyssa. i met her last night and we’re in love and also getting married.” and his mom freaks out and that could be that. but no.
if they’re gonna do this they’re gonna go big or go home.
so, he changes his facebook status to “married to alyssa” and invites all his friends to his wedding in the middle of the ocean. (and they believe him and congratulate him and he’s concerned that his friends think he would really marry a random woman he met like six hours ago)
now his mom is getting really nervous b/c alyssa (the fake bride) got her friends she was on the cruise to be her bridesmaids. they got the first mate to “marry” then at dinner in front of people. the mom is horrified.
anyway the next day he goes “just kidding!” and it’s hilarious. but then he has to contact all his friends who were calling him on the phone and stuff to congratulate him to tell them it was an elaborate joke and they all think he’s an asshole and he and alyssa part ways but keep in touch b/c they… actually get along pretty well.
anyway like a year later they meet up again in boston (i think? big city that wasnt new york) and talk and end up dating for like a year and then end up engaged for real. and now he invites his friends to his real wedding and all their RSVPs essentially say “i’ll show up, but if this is another fake one i’ll fucking murder you” and the mom just flat out didnt believe him for a month because she’s not falling for that again.
and now they’ve been married happily for like three years and they’re expecting their second child who has probably been born by now
and the overall point of this post is: imagine your otp
Anonymous asked:
aconissa answered:
50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.
It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.
While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.
Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it.
It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.
REBLOG FOREVER.
Boycott this fucking movie, for the love of god. These kinds of ideas are dangerous and set us back as a society
it’s never gonna be the same between us and it kills me I swear to god
srsly tho yall bernie or busters are gonna get us all fucking killed if you split the vote. Don’t fucking do it. He absolutely cannot win, he is not running.This is NOT the election to be pulling this, if you wanna write him in, do it in four years. But if trump wins, im not convinced you’ll have the chance in four years. Do. Not. Split. The. Vote.
i’m definitely that gf who will let you fall asleep in my lap or on my chest or in my arms & i won’t move a muscle bc i’m in love w/ the way u look
2017 recovery mood:
“coping” doesnt mean “this is a good thing for me”
in fact, lots of coping mechanisms are downright harmful to ourselves and those around us
some of them can even be physically dangerous or toxic
giving up coping mechanisms that hinder recovery and healing is difficult, but that doesnt mean we shouldnt work towards that
dreamy thoughts
- how do we know that magical creatures don’t exist? just because we haven’t seen them doesn’t prove they aren’t real.
- what if clouds really are cotton wool and we can sleep in them? but airplanes move to fast for us to know.
- flowers and forests are my home.
- I walk in a snowy pine tree forest but I don’t feel cold. All the little woodland creatures greet me as a friend.
- I’m looking up at the stars, but the stars are too distant for me to see that they’re smiling back, hoping that I’ll be okay.
- what will my future hold? any day now, I could do something I fear terribly and all my dreams will form into a reality.
- all the swans in the mirror lake know my name, they sing for me and tell me their stories.
- I metamorphosize like a butterfly, from a shy weak little thing to a magnificent being of magic.

